Lagging Hardon Collisions

“It’s like Gods slamming particles into clouds. If we can just slam these little intzy-bits together we can find God and the world will be better.”

So says scientist William Sharpener at the Large Hadron Collider at Cern. “It’s been eluding us for centuries, how God can take unmanifested mush and turn it into particles. It is very important that we do this now.”

The Large Hadron Collider will whirl particles at speeds unconscionable to science thirty years ago. Such a circulation will create a field that will fly many hundreds of thousands of kilometers into space, and go deeply into the core of the Earth.

Sharon Pogue, of the World Watchers Association, was unequivocal about the dangers of such a scheme. “These guys are going to blast an electromagnetic ray decades into space and deep into our Mother Earth and we are to be told that there is nothing nothing to worry about. Do you see how they slipped that in to the Guardian article? I wasn’t worrying but they told me not to worry. That is suspicious.”

Relating the event to other fishy sciene goings-on Pogue was again highly strung: ” It’s just like that missile they fired into the moon last November. If I want moon dust I can drill, why fire a missile? There is no sense to this.”

Such an antagonistic view will bewilder scientists who see them selves as doing the Lord’s work. “This is for science, lady!” A passing detractor was heard to mutter during our conversation. How did he know what we were talking about?

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